lilith1 | Entries tagged with tarot

Understanding Tarot with Tamar Lalenya | PSYCHIC GLOSS ...

This morning I drew The Empress, and I instantly knew everything was falling into it's right place. Lets get started with the archetype:

The lush surroundings suggest that the empress is both Mother Nature and the maternal or nurturing part of you. Her pregnant body implies she's filled with the desire to bring her children, symbolizing her passions, into form. The empress is your creative imagination -- when filled with the desire to create something, you should be willing to nurture and nourish it along to birth and afterwards. If you don't do this, it dies or remains in the realm of wishes and fantasies. She is also the Divine Mother.

I totally felt this all day today. I've always have so many big ideas floating around in my mind all day long, and today was when I reached up and GRABBED EM, yanking then into my manifest reality. I just started my gratitude notebook, which is going to is going to improve my situation exponentially (I'm so excited). I was able to successfully log in my dream journal for the first time in forever. I was pretty much radiating kindness all day long, and because of this I was able to make the most beautiful eye contact with the boy I've been into for the past year or so (he's a bit of a closet case, but he won't stop staring at me, so we all really know what's actually going down). The next step is actually approaching him! I did some wonderful yoga today, which basically felt like a full body emotional detox. I got an audiobook by William Walker Atkinson, who basically invented the secret (friendly reminder: I am asserting the mastery of my real self), I also got the third book in The Secret series called The Power, which is basically a 28 day program to help transform your life (I'm obviously addicted to The Secret, but it's not like it doesn't work soooo...). I also filmed my first pick a card reading video on YouTube!

I'm really making shit happen for myself today. I'm damn proud proud of myself! These really are fertile times.

Current Mood: thankful
Current Location: My desk
Current Music: At the opera tonight! from Repo the Genetic Opera

Universal Archetype: Similar to the Justice card in the major arcana, the Kind of Swords holds an unsheathed sword in his right hand, suggesting that he holds the power of life and death. Butterflies, symbols of the transformative nature of analytical thought motivated by love, adorn his throne. When ruling the domain, the King of Swords sets aside personal bias and prejudice to base his advice and judgements on sound discernment and universal wisdom. (Source: Tarot for Dummies by Amber Jayanti)

This was a jumper card for me on Sunday, but because I'm skeptical of jumper cards (cards that jump out of the deck as you shuffle), I don't really think it had quite as powerful of an affect on me as it did today (in a practical sense, I guess). Sorry I didn't update yesterday and the day before that (although, it's not like I promised that I would post or anything).

Anyways, as I typed that last bit about the card not having as powerful of an affect on me, I realize that I'm kind of wrong about that. I was very much in charge of my thoughts this Sunday, even if I wasn't able to get the work that I sought to complete finished (more on that later). I was very headstrong on Sunday, and I basically finished The Power, the followup to The Secret (don't judge me for supporting racists). It actually taught me a lot. I'll share my biggest takeaway: Playing games with your imagination about what you want to accomplish and being super enthusiastic is a great way to bring that about in real life. This is TOTALLY TRUE, because I find that most of what I do in my day to day life is either because I've imagined myself doing it with (with a positive and exciting sentiment), or because it's just a habit of mine to do whatever I'm up to in the first place, which I one point I was fantasizing about in the same way!

Among other things, today was great! I missed school for the second day in a row (I have Mono, but also I have an overdue paper, which I think is the reason why my Mom let me stay home), but it's all okay, because I finished the paper! I wrote about 5 pages of BS about food stamps, but I really couldn't care less because my school doesn't have grades and I'm already in college so it doesn't matter! Woohoo! I kept the King of Swords beside me as I wrote, and it really made me understand what had to be done in order for me to get the paper in, which was: establish an optimistic attitude about the situation (I mean, like, how hard can a four page write up on Food Stamps actually be in the first place, I mean like come on, Lilith... Get it together, girl!), realize what had to be done (me sitting down and just doing the damn thing), and just doing it (<insert shila labeouf meme/nike meme here>). Pretty groundbreaking stuff, huh!

Once I got my thought process down, I knew that the paper was as good as done (which it was, because I just finished it! *dancing gif*).

There were other ways in which this manifested itself too. I found myself with a strong desire to do things that were good for me. I'm about to begin an affirmations journal, which will rewire my brain to be more optimistic, and thus help me achieve the life I was destined to live (which is the life that I want to live!).

Wow, The Secret has really brainwashed me... in the best way possible ;).

I felt super headstrong all day long. Thank you, tarot! I wouldn't have done it without you.

Also, much like my essay, I did not proofread this. LOL. Sory

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: My desk
Current Music: It's your life - Sophie

I include two images here because on Friday I drew the Six of Cups for today. This morning, I drew the Six of Swords. I just made the connection that I drew two sixes. Interesting... According to affinitynumerology.com:

The numerology number 6 is a number of family, home, harmony, nurturing, and idealism. Its foundation is family and a harmonious home. 6 is also a number of healing, of nurturing. It takes its responsibilities seriously. The number 6 has an idea of what is ideal and prefers all in its vicinity to support that ideal and, together, achieve it. But more than that, it strives for a harmonious family relationship.

Wow, this really resonates with me. Thank you, affinitynumerology.com, this is actually pretty insightful.

Upon drawing it, I instantly recognized how the Six of Cups would be manifesting in my life this weekend. I'm not really close with my Dad at all. I wouldn't say that there is any animosity between us, we just don't really talk at all. We usually have to set aside time together, just to ensure that we actually talk. We hardly ever have real conversations, and it would be foolish to say that we are close (this does not mean that we don't love each other). I love my father very dearly, but there has always been awkwardness between the two of us. Unfortunately, this is pretty much all my fault, lol, as I was an angsty middle schooler, who did everything they could to distance themselves from their parents. My parents, god bless them, listened to me, and gave me the independence I desired. However, we never really salvaged that relationship (except for with my mom..... but only sort of...).

Anyways, the reason our hanging out is such a big deal is because my mom wanted me to talk with him about my gender, and express some of the things I've been talking with her about (basically that I am going to start doing things to transition). This is a TOUGH conversation to have, and although my parents are lovely and not very transphobic, they are still old, and a lot of me feels like they don't really get what I'm going through (although it's not like I understand what I'm going through, so it's a pretty big expectation to have). The thing is, my mom has spoken to my dad about my gender troubles, so for the first half hour of us hanging out, that topic was really looming above us.

I was optimistic, though. I understood via the Six of Cups that a harmonious resolution was within my reach, all I had to do was take advantage of the situation, which I think is where the Six of Swords came in.  I always see the Six of Swords as taking action to overcome your emotional baggage, and guiding yourself into less turbulent waters.

In light of this, I've been doing things to calm my mind all day. I almost forgot to meditate, but I made sure I did. I began writing this blog, something which really helps me chill out. The Six of Swords is an interesting card, because it really is about taking control of your thoughts, and shifting your logic in order to bring about emotional wellbeing. This was totally relevant when I was talking to my dad. I had been doing pretty well for most of the day, and was actually excited about spending time with my dad, but about 20 minutes beforehand, my thoughts got super negative, almost for no good reason. My only choice was to be proactive, and guide myself in the right direction. When we eventually sat down for some sushi, and he asked me, somewhat pointedly I might add, "So... How are you doing?" I took the opportunity to sheepishly blurt out, "I'm really struggling right now." What followed was a semi-inchoerent mess of dysphoric experiences that I shared with him; he just sat there and listened for the most part, occasionally chiming in to remind me that labels are useless, and that I should take things step by step, rather than fixating on some sort of end goal. Good advice, although it does somewhat illustrate his ignorance to my situation.

I felt a lot better after that, and I was proud of myself for taking matters into my own hands, rather than having him awkwardly bring stuff up while I half-assed a response that I would ultimately regret. It totally was a Six of Cups moment! A harmonious time in our relationship if there ever was one. I really was sharing pieces of myself that I don't really feel comfortable talking about in my day to day life, except for on the internet. I felt like he was the little girl, and I was the guy handing her the cup (aka, the piece of myself). I guess the figure walking away could have been my mom, who is constantly setting up situations for us to become closer. Most of them are futile, but that could be why the figure in the card is walking away, because her work was done, and the desired outcome (me opening up to my father) was achieved.

I can still feel the Six of Swords, though. I'm currently struggling with my sobriety, and I'm actively reminding myself of why I'm doing this in the first place, and all the joy it will bring. When you aren't steering the ship, it's so easy to drift away in the riptide. There were a couple of moments today, especially in the evening, when I had to stop my subconscious from devising excuses for me to break my sobriety. I'm five days in.

As corny as it sounds, The Secret (aka, The Law of Attraction), as really helped me with sobriety. Visualizing myself talking to people with a triumphant grin, saying things like "Yeah, I've been sober for so long now, I can't even remember how long it's been..." has actually been VERY HELPFUL. Not going to lie, manifesting works, and I recommend that you check out The Secret on youtube (they have the whole movie up for free. I bought the book, which was a bad idea, because it's high-key really racist and exploits mad different cultures). Atti, if you're reading this, watch this movie. You're a creator; this will help you get stuff DONE. I've been using The Secret my whole life, even though I just read the book a few weeks ago. It really works. Never underestimate the power of love, optimism, and proactivity; it makes everything fall into place. Anxiety, and the negative beliefs you carry with you about yourself are your worst enemy.

Goodnight everybody. To be honest, I'm way too lazy to proofread any of this, so I hope it isn't too incoherent. There's a party tonight, but I don't think I'm going to go; it's too risky (in terms of my sobriety. Thank you Six of Swords for keeping me proactive).

Sleep tight!
-Lily

PS: take a metaphorical hit every time I say "incoherent" or "proactive." Hehe

I cant believe I'm too lazy to run this through grammarly. The spellchecker on this site is horrible.

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: My bed

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Lilith Marlow

Entries tagged with tarot

The Empress (3/13/19)

King of Swords (3/12/19)

Sixes (3/9/19)

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